MR BEAN GOES BACK TO SCHOOL

ADAPTED BY EMILY CALVO

CHAPTER 1

It is open day at the local adult education school. There are many things to see. There are a lot of stalls around the parking lot.  There is an army stall for recruitments with soldiers marching up and down to the orders of the sergeant.  He drives very fast. There are many people walking in the car park but Mr. Bean doesn’t care, he is looking for a parking space. He finds a car similar to his car that is parked in a reserved parking space next to the school.  It is a Mini, green and black. Mr. Bean thinks, “That car is like mine, I can open this car and push it out of the parking space, and I can park my car”.  He gets out of his car and goes to the other Mini. The car door is not locked!  He opens the car door, takes off the handbrake and pushes the car out.  Then, he gets into his car and parks it in the space.  

He gets out of his car and closes the door.  Then, he locks it with a padlock   Mr. Bean is very  happy  Then, Mr. Bean sees the other Mini; it is in the middle of the road.  He thinks, I cannot leave the car here. He opens the door and with one hand he pushes the car and with the other he drives.   Then, two soldiers walk out of the school and see Mr. Bean pushing the car, one of them says, “Do you want any help?”  Mr. Bean says, “hmmm yes!” So the soldiers push the car with their heads looking down onto the road, and with Mr. Bean in the front of the car. One of them says, “Get into the car,” and Mr. Bean says, “Oh yes!”  But, he doesn’t get into the car.  He pretends to get in and shouts, “I am in the car!”  The soldiers continue to push the car out of the car park, out onto the main road and Mr. Bean runs away and he laughs, Mr. Bean is very bad!

 

 

  CHAPTER 2  

Mr. Bean looks around and sees soldiers marching. The sergeant says, “Eyes front!”  And the soldiers march.  The sergeant says, “Ten hut!” and the soldiers stop. The sergeant gives more orders and the  soldiers obey.  The sergeant gives one more order and the soldiers stand with their feet apart.  Then the sergeant leaves and goes into his caravan. Mr. Bean sees this. He decides to continue walking.   But while he is walking, he coughs and the soldiers stand to attention. He finds this very curious. So, he coughs again, and the soldiers stand with their feet apart.  He finds this very funny! So he hides behind a car and  he coughs again and the soldiers obey. Then, Mr. Bean makes a strange sound and the soldiers lift one leg up.   Mr. Bean finds this very funny indeed   He grunts and the soldiers lift on arm   He grunts again and they start waving! The sergeant comes out of his caravan and sees his soldiers waving their hands and is very confused and angry.  He didn’t see Mr. Bean hiding behind a car. He didn’t hear him coughing and grunting and he doesn’t see Mr. Bean running away. 

 

 

 CHAPTER 3 

He wants to see the exhibition of the students’ work.   He walks down the corridor and there are a few people looking at pictures on the walls.  There is a big man with a beard looking at one picture.  He is very interested in this picture.  Mr. Bean goes towards the man and looks at the picture too.  Mr. Bean is very naughty today.  He looks at the man, then at the picture, then at the man, then at the picture.  Then, pretending he is very interested in the picture he slowly walks in front of the man  doesn’t let the man see the picture.  The man moves to the right, Mr. Bean moves to the right.     The man moves to the left, Mr. Bean moves to the left  The man cannot look at the picture because Mr. Bean is in front all the time The man is annoyed and he walks down the corridor to look at another exhibit. The man is interested in the exhibits. There are interesting clocks.  Mr. Bean bothers the man again  He stands in front of him pretending he is interested in the clocks! The man walks away irritated and Mr. Bean laughs.  He feels very naughty today!! 

 

Mr. Bean decides to go into one of the classrooms.  There are many people there. Some people are painting, others are writing, others are making models.  There are visitors too; they are looking at the exhibits.  There is an old man sitting at a table with a stamp collection.  Mr. Bean walks up to the table and looks at the stamps.  There are many albums with expensive stamps in them.  He thinks this is a very boring hobby.  It is so boring that he wants to fall asleep  He starts yawning. The stamp collector is surprised that Mr. Bean is yawning and he is even more surprised when Mr. Bean falls asleep on one of his stamp albums! But Mr. Bean is only pretending that he is asleep! He laughs at the old man and stands up. He decides to see something else and he walks away. The old man looks at him but doesn’t see Mr. Bean has a stamp on his forehead.  Mr. Bean blows the stamp away and it falls to the floor.  The old man looks at his album and he sees that there is a stamp missing.  He is very confused! 

 

 

CHAPTER 4 

Mr. Bean walks to another part of the classroom.  It’s the calligraphy section of the exhibition.  There is a man sitting at table writing with a feather on a parchment.  His writing is very complicated and difficult but it is very beautiful.  He has a whole page with words and he is going to finish it soon.  Mr. Bean approaches the man and pretends to be interested in the work.  He gets closer to the man, and closer and closer until his nose touches the feather.  Then, Mr. Bean, who is very naughty today, pretends he is going to sneeze.  The man is worried.  The man is irritated.  But Mr. Bean doesn’t sneeze.  He is only pretending  Mr. Bean likes irritating the man.  Mr. Bean goes to a lamp on the table and turns it off, then turns it on, then off, then on many times and the man sits there.  He is very surprised at Mr. Bean.  Mr. Bean laughs.  Then he walks away slowly and hides behind a notice board behind the man.  The man continues working slowly and carefully on the page of beautiful writing.  Suddenly, Mr. Bean sneezes very loudly and the man is shocked  He moves his hand and spoils the writing on the page.  The man is very angry with Mr. Bean but he is not there! 

 

 

CHAPTER 5 

Mr. Bean walks to another part of the classroom.  There is a woman next to a machine that has a metal ball and she has her hands on it.  Her hair is standing on end.  The ball has static electricity.  The woman is laughing.  Mr. Beans sees the woman and he wants his hair to stand on end too.  When the woman leaves, he puts his hands on the metal ball; the scientist turns on the machine and...... Nothing happens.  Mr. Bean looks up at his hair but his hair is not standing up  He is not happy and leaves. But, he hears a strange noise.  It is a humming noise.  It is coming from his hands  This is very strange indeed  He walks around the class and he sees a homemade armchair.  He doesn’t like it.  It isn’t comfortable. He picks up a piece of paper and he reads the information on it.   When he’s satisfied with the information he leaves the paper on the armchair.  But the paper’s stuck in his hand.  He tries to pull it off with the other hand but he can’t it sticks on his other hand too  He tries to pull it off with his mouth and the paper is stuck on his face! He has a lot of static electricity in his body and the paper will not come off  He tries to pull it off with his shoe and this time it comes off his hand  He is happy, he thinks the paper is now on the floor but it is really stuck to his shoe  Mr. Bean walks around the classroom and he doesn’t know that the paper is under his shoe.  He has a lot of static electricity in his body and the humming noise follows him everywhere. He looks at a few exhibits that he doesn’t like and then sees the paper again  “What can I do?”   he thinks.  He sees a woman in a long dress and he decides to give the paper to her. He picks up the paper and offers it to the woman.  She smiles at Mr. Bean and takes the paper.  Suddenly, all the static electricity leaves his body and goes to the woman, her skirt flies up into the air  She shouts! She is showing her knickers to everybody.  Mr. Bean runs away  very fast! 

 

 

CHAPTER 6 

Bean is back in the corridor; he sees a door with the sign, “CHEMISTRY LAB 2”.  He thinks, “This is very interesting!”  And he opens the door and walks in.  There aren’t any people in the lab. There are workbenches with equipment, tubes, test tubes and beakers.  He goes to one workbench where there is a transparent liquid in an experiment.  He looks at it and then picks up a beaker with brown liquid in it. Then he picks up another beaker with transparent liquid in it.   He puts some brown liquid into the transparent liquid and it becomes red,  “This is very interesting!” he thinks.  Then, he looks at the experiment and puts some brown liquid into a large pot, the liquid travels along the tubes but it isn’t red, it is blue   “This is very curious!”  thinks Mr. Bean while he watches the blue liquid travel along the tubes.  Suddenly the equipment starts shaking. A young boy walks into the room and sees Mr. Bean and the equipment.  He goes towards the workbench and looks at the experiment.  The equipment shakes more and more and there is white smoke coming out.  Mr. Bean thinks, “The teacher can blame the boy not me if the experiment doesn’t work!”   Mr. Bean is very bad and he quickly walks out of the room and leaves the boy in the lab.  Then, there is a loud explosion and blue smoke comes out of the door.  Mr. Bean is afraid! He tries to push the smoke back into the lab but he cannot.  It is BLUE SMOKE! He runs away very fast!! 

 

 

CHAPTER 7 

Mr. Bean walks into an Art class.  The teacher is French, she has an accent. The teacher sees Mr. Bean and tells him to sit down.  She gives him a pen to draw with and he has to draw some fruit in a bowl. He looks around and sees a man with his thumb up.  Artists put their thumb up to get the dimensions.  Mr. Bean doesn’t know this.  He thinks the thumb means “OKAY” .  He sticks his thumb up too and he shows it to the class.  The students in the class look at him strangely.  Then he sits down and draws a banana.  The teacher sees the banana and tells Mr. Bean that he needs detail.  She takes his pen and draws details on his picture and then leaves.   Mr. Bean doesn’t like the details, he is irritated and he takes  the piece of paper, he makes it into a ball and throws it at the teacher! He is very bad.  he draws a banana again. He doesn’t see the teacher change the model.  There isn’t any fruit to draw now. Mr. Bean looks at the model and draws a big circle on the right of the banana, then a smaller circle in the middle and then a very small circle in the centre.  Then he looks again, and draws the same circles on the left of his banana.  Then he looks at his picture and sees that it is very different from the fruit.  He looks at the model and he is shocked  It is a woman with no clothes on  He is very embarrassed.  He is very shocked.  The teacher approaches him and he is very very embarrassed so quickly he draws another banana in the middle of the page, now his picture looks like a face! The teacher looks at his picture and tells him to draw the body not only the face.  She tells him to draw the body and the breasts  She tells him to look at the model but Mr. Bean closes his eyes, he doesn’t want to see the model with no clothes on.  Mr. Bean is very embarrassed  The teacher tells Mr. Bean that he must look at the beauty and he must feel it and then he must draw.  She leaves him sitting there.  He feels very nervous; he cannot draw a naked woman! He looks around and he sees something interesting in the corner of the room behind a notice board.  He goes to the corner and sees there is clay.   There is a pottery wheel too.  He has an idea! While Mr. Bean is busy in the corner a boy and a woman walk into the classroom.  The boy is all blue! And the woman is very angry  The woman shouts at the boy, she asks him,  “Right! Is he in here then?” and she takes off his glasses.  The boy looks around the class and says “No” with his head. Then, he sees the naked model and he is very surprised! He cannot stop looking at the naked woman and the angry woman pulls him out of the room quickly! Mr.Bean finishes his work with the clay, and he is satisfied. He goes to the naked woman and puts his creation on her and then sits at his easel.  He isn’t embarrassed now, he is satisfied.  He can draw his picture now.  While he is drawing the teacher tells him that he must look at the model  And then she looks too and sees the model has something on her! It is brown, and it covers part of her body. It is a clay bra! Now Mr. Bean is happy, he can draw the woman  He finishes his pictures and gives it to his teacher and leaves, quickly.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 8 

Mr.Bean is now in a Judo class.  He has a judo suit and he looks handsome.  He is sitting on a bench with other students and the teacher is standing on the mat.  The student on the right is short and quite old, he has grey hair.  The teacher says that the students must learn how to fall.  So he asks a student to stand on the mat with him and to bow.  Then the teacher throws the student on the mat violently.  Mr. Bean is shocked.  He doesn’t want to fall.  He doesn’t want to get hurt.  He wants to leave.   But he doesn’t want the other students to think he is a coward.  So he stays on the bench.  Then the teacher asks for the next student to go on to the mat.  And again Mr. Bean sees the teacher throw the student on to the mat   He doesn’t like this at all  He wants to leave, but the teacher asks him to step on to the mat  He ignores the teacher.  The teacher insists and Mr. Bean has to stand up! Mr. Bean tells the short man on the right to go first because he has to leave,  but the short man doesn’t move.  Then he stands up. He pretends he cannot walk but the teacher insists that he step onto the mat  The teacher asks Mr. Bean to bow, and he bows once, and then he bows twice! And then he starts running around the mat trying to get away from the teacher.   The teacher chases him around and around, and he is getting angry.  He tells Mr. Bean to calm down.  And Mr. Bean stops running and bows again  The teacher tells him not to be afraid,  and to make one big bow and then the teacher will throw him.  The teacher bows,  a very big bow..... but  Mr. Bean  doesn’t bow this time.  He runs behind the   teacher. When the teacher stands up, he cannot see Mr. Bean. Suddenly Mr. Bean pushes the teacher onto the mat and rolls the mat around the teacher  The teacher cannot move with the mat around him.  The teacher cannot throw Mr. Bean.  Mr. Bean wins!  He bows and he leaves the class, Mr. Bean is happy.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 9 

Mr.Bean is now in the changing room.  He has his shirt on and he’s putting on his tie.  His trousers are hanging on a hook behind him.  The small man is also in the changing room but Mr. Bean doesn’t see him.   The man picks a pair of trousers he puts them on and leaves the changing room.  Then Mr. Bean picks up his trousers and puts them on.  The trousers are strange.  They are too short for Mr. Bean.  They aren’t his trousers at all! 

He puts on his shoes and his jacket and leaves the changing room.  He must find his trousers  But where can they be?  Who took them?   He goes up and down the corridor looking at all the trousers.  He sees a black man with a pair of brown trousers like his own.  He looks at them carefully then, he tries to read the label in the trousers.  The black man thinks Mr. Bean is crazy and he walks away.  Mr. Bean walks along the corridor and he sees the men’s toilets.  He walks in and he sees another man with brown trousers standing at the urinal.  The man is busy.  Mr. Bean looks at the trousers carefully; he gets very very close to the man and sees the trousers are not his  The man thinks Mr. Bean is crazy  Mr. Bean decides to leave but returns a moment later because there was a man in one of the toilet cubicles.  The door is shut of course but there is a gap between the door and the floor. Mr. Bean bends down and looks under the door. He sees his trousers  He knows they are his trousers because they have a label on them, it says, “BEAN” on it.  Then Mr. Bean has an idea. He puts his hands together and makes them look like a dove.  Then he puts the “dove” on the top of the door and he quacks like a duck.  The man on the toilet looks up and sees the “bird” and hears the “duck”.  Then Mr. Bean continues quacking but takes his hands off the door.  The man continues looking up at the door; he thinks that this is very strange.  While the man is looking up, Mr. Bean slowly puts his hands under the door and gets the man’s feet  He pulls the man off the toilet and the man shouts  Mr. Bean pulls the man’s legs under the door until he can get the trousers.  The man shouts, “What are you doing?”  But Mr. Bean is busy taking his trousers off   Then the sergeant walks into the men’s toilets and sees Mr. Bean standing by the door with the man’s legs under the door.  Mr. Bean pretends he is polishing the man’s shoes with his handkerchief, he looks at the sergeant in the eye and the sergeant leaves, he thinks Mr. Bean is crazy.  When the sergeant leaves, Mr. Bean takes off the man’s trousers! The man in the cubicle is very afraid, there is a lunatic in the men’s toilets  Mr. Bean is satisfied he has his trousers now but he also has the man’s underpants  He takes off the wrong trousers and throws them into the cubicle then he puts his trousers on  He also takes the man’s underpants and throws them into the cubicle but, the man doesn’t catch them and they fall into the water in the toilet!

Mr. Bean is now happy; he has his trousers so he can leave. 

 

 

CHAPTER 10 

Mr. Bean decides to leave the school and he goes to the car park.  He goes to the space where he has his car parked but his car is not there. It is not next to the school entrance. It is in the middle of the car park now.  As he walks to his car he sees a stand with many homemade cakes.   There is a woman selling the homemade cakes.  They look delicious and Mr. Bean cannot resist the temptation of buying one.He looks at all the cakes but he cannot decide which one to eat.  There are cream buns, fairy cakes, chocolate éclairs, strawberry sponges, cream slices.  They are so delicious In the end he decides to buy a chocolate and cream cake but he is still looking at the rest of the cakes.  As he is eating an enormous tank appears on the parking lot.  The tank is going towards his car but Mr. Bean doesn’t see this, he’s too busy eating the delicious cake.  The tank drives over Mr. Bean’s car and flattens it completely  It is as flat as a pancake  When Mr. Bean sees his car he cannot believe that his car is destroyed-:   His beautiful green and black mini is gone.  He wants to cry.   He goes to his car and looks at it.   Then he sees his padlock, it is not destroyed.  He picks it up and is happy because his padlock is perfect  Mr. Bean is happy again!

 

 

THE END